He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
