I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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