OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
