47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
