dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
