I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
