i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
