How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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