no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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