After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
