I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
