Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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