Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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