party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
