My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
