he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
