I look better un-naked...
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize
