So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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