This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
