....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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