I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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