Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
