we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
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