I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
