I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
