It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
