I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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