a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
