It's Friday. Sex?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
