Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
