Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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