I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
