i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
