I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
