I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I just found puke in my bra..
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
