The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I showed him my bush... on skype.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
