70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just gargled with NyQuil
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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