Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ladies don't puke and tell
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
