You were right. It hurts to walk today.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
