I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
