idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
