so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
