Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
