btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
