You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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