i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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