why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
