I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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