Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
