Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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