Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
