Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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